alright people.
links are on the right.
click it you idiots.XD
i hate myself..
i really do..
im born stupid..
the older i get..
the more stupid i am..
just finish mid term for marketing..
i study really hard..
and study till my head really hurts..
i had confident that i can really do it..
but when i get in the hall..
look at the paper..
SHIT..
only can confirm the 1st question i know..
others?? trash..
我真的读不上去了
很想放弃
我知道放弃是错的
但我连这个mid term都做不好
我的Final怎么能够做好来呢？
我不是一个读书的料
我真的很笨
我真的很傻
什么都不会
每次都给别人骂笨
我是个小孩永远长不大
不知道事实在发生什么
真的真的很讨厌我自己
每一次做什么都不对
我生出来干嘛
也不是麻烦别人
令父母失望
我觉得自己真的很没用
真的很没有用
我真的不想再读下去了
读来读去也不是读不上
再读下去干嘛
张美恩
你真的很没有用！
i've walked along the lights .
Yesterday was nice..^^
just keep getting headache all the way..==
well..went to church after 1 month didnt go le..==
cham..so must go..haha..
didnt even listen to what the fella preach oso..>.<
keep daydreming..then siiao with belle and shirley..haha..
after that...because it was Florence's bithday..
we made up a plan..^^
Carlie, Arthur and Fiona will bring Florence down to ipoh..
and we will follow afterthat and give her a surprise..XD
whose include..hmmm..
Shu Ern, Kyle, Shu, Gale, Belle, Calvin, Clara, Wendy, Kelvin, Sui Yen, Renjie, Eric and Vivien..
thats a lot of people..XD
reach JJ of ipoh..then lower floor there's like a lot of models wearing funny costumes..
If i wasnt wrong..Popular book store has a exibition on books?? lol..
cant really see though coz very far..><
then we went to err..Black Canyon Coffee..
We have to get there to surprise Florence..haha..
so we bought cheese oreo cake from secret recipe and we go in toBlack Canyon Coffee..
and we saw Florence with Carlie they all..and we surround her ad sing happy birthday..^^
So mainly we all makan there la..
didnt take pictures cause Shu sudah ambil banyak gila..XD
so we ate our lunch and the cake..
and we were late for the....
2012 movie.lol..
basicly i was screaming the whole time..
so they got me to watch oso banyak suey la.
coz i always shout a lot?? haha..
sampai watch half way sms Jon say i scared..>.<
well it was fun to watch lahh..not bad keep seeing ppl die..@@
yuck..
so after that we head to MCD!!!..
because i was so broke..didnt had MCD for the first time when i got the chance..T.T
renjie so cute horr..haha..
then we realise..we havent finish the cake and we left it there at Black Canyon Coffee..haaha..
i think also tak ada already la..
and CF is growing a lot of couples..XD
Kyle and Shu Ern..
Clavin and Clara..
Kelvin and Sui Yen..
Eric and Vivien..
siapa lagi??
now we are guessing on Arthur and Fiona..hahahahaha..
so we came out of MCD..
going for our next movie..O.O..
two movies a day already gave me a very big headache..
me and Fiona..
me and Florence..da bday gal..^^
Shu..our camera man??? lolz..
Wendy LC laaa..i take her pic..she turn away..=(
but still got a pic with her oso wad...XD
then we had into the cinema..
bought popcorn and drinks..
when we get in there..
there's like so many of us and the bought one less ticket..==
so how??? they go buy another 2 and kyle and shu ern sit vyr far away from us..
aiks..
lost count i think..
not bad though this movie..
not advisable to let kids watch..
i myself got terkejut duno how many times..==
hate kejutan..@@
came out from the movie then we gals head straight to the toilet..hahaha..
me and Belle..
me and Renjie..
me and Shu Ern..she belanja me one movie @@ next time belanja her back..
me and leng lui Sui Yen..
me and Vivien..da first lady...wahahahahaha..
me and Carlie..^^
we were like chatting outside the cinema..
and half of us went main RK..==
@@
waa...Carlie main jugak wor..
Fiona and Wendy..
we are the girls..^^..
should have ask the guys to take a "bro's" picture also horr..forgot liaw..==
discussing nak makan mana for dinner...
so we decided to makan nga choy kai ahh..
before dinner..
after dinner..haha...^^
on da way back to Kampar..
Calvin and Gale lecture Wendy..lol..
i just listen..Clara fall asleep..
poor thing..she was like super tired..
i got home..chat with Jon and kor..
then i went to bed..
wake up at 12am wanna call dad..
my brother pick up the phone told me dad sleep jor..==
wanna wish him happy birthday ahh..
just now just call him nia..haha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADY!!
i've walked along the lights .
i've walked along the lights .
sorry for not updating for like over 1 week..
i have been emo-ing like i duno since some things were going on..
i've got a lovable bf but somehow its doesnt really fill up my happiness..
i have been thinking a lot lately..
yea probably will grow out some few white hair..i dunno..
i have no idea why i have been daydreaming in class..
thinking about lots of shit..
i feel that I, ME, FELICIA GRACE..
brings problems to people's lives..
i've been thinking about myself..
thinking about my parents..
thinking about my friends..
thinking about my bf..
thinking about kor..
other than that..
im about to go crazy because of thinking..
assignment..
presentation..
relationships..
love..
What else is there for me to think??
i have been thinking all of this shit for duno how many days..
im stressing myself..
why???
i have no idea..
one word..
HATE..
its for me..
i hate myself..
for being stupid..
i hate myself..
for bringing problems into peoples lives..
i hate myself..
for being me..
FELICIA..
this name was given to me by my mom..
it means happiness..
but somehow the older i get..
the more things i cannot be happy about..
i cry often for no reasons..
why cant i be the old me when i was a kid smile around with no problems in my head..??
i love my childhood memories..
i didnt have problems to solve..
people love me for who i am.
now out here..
i felt like torture..
by who?
by God probably?
i know He wants me to learn to be independent..
i know He wants me to learn to have patience..
i know He wants me to learn hell lot of stuff..
i know He wants me to learn how to deal with stuff..
but i just cant take it anymore..
my existence in this world..
make me feel like im bring hell lot of shit problems to everyone..
TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW..
haih..
now im thinking..
about studies..
is this really what i want?
is this really what im gonna be in the future?
i will never know what i will be..
because im too goody-goody to just say yes to anything..
parents and relatives wants me to study accountancy..
is this what i really want?
wrong choice indeed..
i never like accountancy..
i just pretend i like it so i could cheer up my dad for being not useless..
the truth..
im just rubbish..
rubbish for people to step on..
i hate studying..
i never like studying..
the reason im in UTAR right now..
is because i dont want to bloody stay in Dungun..
i will never live my life there..
its just total bullshit..
my life is bullshit..
everything is bullshit..
I have no idea how to tell my parents..
I dont feel like living..
i know its not right to say that..
but its just stress, tention, pure pressure i have on my back all the time..
just like someone said to me just now..
"your brain too short..
you just do whatever you like..
but you dont know whats going on till the end.."
i never do things my way in a very long time..
Friends say what, i just "en, yes, ya"..
i never say no to no one unless the fella really piss me off in some kinda way..
i know the CF members are gonna comment on this..
just let it go k..
im just really fraustrated on my life..
my life is just total bullshit-ness..
i've walked along the lights .
yes I should..
We say before we can't be together because of a lot of reasons..
We ignore it and we will go through together no matter what..
If we tell people we ain't a couple..
No one will believe us..haha..
♥ my stupid ben dan..♥
♥ mwacks..♥
♥ love you damn much..^^ ♥
i've walked along the lights .
my tears couldnt even flow.
no one can understand how pressure i felt..
why cant they get along?
why because of this we are mad on each other?
WHY WHY WHY????
life's never fair i know..
this is just super bullshit..
i've walked along the lights .
im not ready to love anyone because im still learning to love myself ♥ =)
duno how this sentence got into my mind..
but its true..
i wanted to love someone..
but im not ready yet..
so the post before this horrr..
actually i write shuang larr..sibeh boring that day..XD
so ok what actually happen for the last few days ehh...
Lin yun call out the TA3 students and we went to Lim Kee..
there were like 20 of us weh!
break out TA3 record..first time almost everyone out..geng! XD
wee..my dinner that day..delicious wehh..XD
my jumbo orange juice..hoho..
our magician perform magic..he kiip lap the table..
beh tahan him..
see all the plates empty jor..
pose 1
pose 2
pose 3
pose 4..XD
this is linyun d food..haih..
then we force her to makan..last piece le waaa!! XD
so the other day we had cf..
and there was a workshop talk on leadership..
we had fun and it was fiona's birthday that day!!
totally shock her weh..suddenly jensen say sing a song..then cake come out..hoho..
so after CF..we went to ghany..walao..
This is how CF ppl are in Ghany..lol..
there were like 29 of us? squeeze into 6 tables..
it was
suffering weh..imagine that..haha..
it was fun but not really that fun..
coz too many people..
the two ends of the people need to like shout..haha..
and we just know that Mr K plays DOTA..hohohohohohohoho..
haha..yesterday in marketing class..was like masuk bit earlier..
coz 3pm start marr..2 something went in edy..
then camwhore..=.="
so ganas weh..>.<
stupid face 1
stupid face 2
stupid face 3..
my eyes sibeh small lah..see the pic liaw so dulan..XD
i cut jor my front part d hair ahh..so short liaw..>.<
next time ny post it out..so ugly weh!!
i've walked along the lights .
yes im getting infected by the couples all around me..
yes i want to involve in a relationship..
yes i need a bf..
yes i need a guy to pampered me all the time..
ARGHHHHH!!!!!
=.="
this is all bullshit..
why cant i get a freakin christian boyfriend?!?!?! damn it...
i've walked along the lights .
wow..
news sure do spread fast..
i cannot believe that 3 UTARians were drown in Kampar waterfall..
well..
i cant say much but may they rest in peace..
read the the star online..
click on the link below..
tragic story..tragic ending..
appreciate your life when you still have it..
dunno how am i gonna continue to study like this..
One of the 3 students who was drown..
although i dont know him..
but the way i see people comment and stuff..
he is a good friend to all..
its really sad to see someone whose so young to leave the world..
but what can we do?
appreciate your life..
i've walked along the lights .
i've walked along the lights .
我真的很恨我自己
为什么这么傻的去和他吵架
现在。。
连朋友都没得做了
他骂我笨
乱乱写东西在fb
但是
我写的东西一定是他吗？
我也没写是谁的啊
我承认
我是个笨蛋
我是个傻瓜
我是个蠢蛋
我是个没用的人
我是个不会想的人
我是个无聊的人
我承认。。
对不起。。
但你真的很没有心
你还能那么的开心
你说你最疼我
最sayang我
但是，我一点都看不出。。
算了吧
我知道我对你是一个多亿的人
你那么出名
少了我一个，你都没怎样
但，我没有了你，我有一点活不下去的感觉
你知道吗？
你当然不知道
你也没想过别人的感受
再说也是废的
你也不会读
真的是算了吧。。。。。
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
i've walked along the lights .
sorry for not posting much lately..
hostel connection just sucks up so bad..
and my roomie and her bf keep smooching around so i was seldom at home oso lahh..
well..went kl that day..
had an awesome 3 days there..^^
1st day..
reach KL sentral..me and Melissa had SUBWAY~
while waiting for my fren..i head to coffee bean to get a drink..
then my fren teman me then got belanja me makan..
haha..good friend he is..
then the next day wait ah kor come..
then we shop bit bit..
then till night..
wait for his friend to bring us to go Poppy..
let me get this straight to you guys..
IM NOT A CLUBBER..
i never went to clubbing before..
and it was my first time being there..
and it was great..!!
Kor really took care of me..
told me not to drink so much and stuff..
keep asking me whether im okay or not..
i feel blessed to have a kor like him..^^
Jon, Richard, Arthur kor, Alvin and Aaron..
5 hot guys teman me..hahahahahaha..
well..drink like 6 or 7 cups of alcohol..
then went to the dance floor..
dance with kor and Jon..
after dance so freakin hot weh..
then suddenly didnt feel good..went toilet and vomit..>.<
so after the club was gonna close..
Sandy came over..
and she was totally drunk!
i was quite shock oso la..
but when i see her..
waseh..damn leng lui gal..
she has a killer body weh!!
O.o
then aiks..long story cut short..
she kena taken by her guy friends..
then we were pretty worried about her..
aiks..
Jon went all mad and sad and stuff..
he's been going through a lot..
aiks..
be tough ya buddy~ ^^
no matter wad Arthur and me still will support you geh..^^
and kor oso went half drunk..=.="
talking stupid stuff..=.="
so the next day kor and me went go cinema..
then couldnt finish the movie coz my ktm gona reach liaw..
so fast fast go KL sentral..
then now im back in Kampar again..gonna start study tomorrow..
had enough fun edy..XD
i've walked along the lights .
its really fast that time flies..
for a while..im starting to study again...
having boring lecture classes and all..
1st day of new sem, 1st class..
everyone was happy and fresh looking..
almost half of the class i know the people are taking the same class with me..haha..
sat beside liang yee..saw edwin, benny, jessica, wei xin they all..wave hand wave hand..haha..
so we waited for the lecturer to come in..
waited for 45 mins liaw..still havent come in..
then 3/4 of the people in the class, all leave weh!
then when i was gonna go for lunch..
su yi message me..asking me where am i..
i was like im back home liaw lor why? lecturer came back ahh?
she said yes..
SCREW that lecturer naaa..
we wait for him/her so long..left half an hour of the class only masuk..
BODOH..
like this lahh..skip one class liaw...sien..
lecturer's fault..lol..
so after having lunch and CC-ing..
went back home nothing to do..so took some stupid pictures..ngek ngek..
this one damn chubby weh..>.<
before edit..
after edit..hoho..
thanks to SHURR who got so bored and edit it for me..haha..
then horr...after dinner..
went over to a padang near CC there..
go find SCOTTY! XD
this fella horh..
fong fei kei me 3 times liaw..=.="
last sem..whole sem didnt see dao him oso..
jin suey...no yuan fen..hoho..
then meet him jor..
both like stupiak people..
keep smile smile..haha..
but overall..scotty is a cute and shy boy..lol...
remember yamcha call me ahh scotty!!
i've walked along the lights .
